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You know you are a teacher when…

The word teacher has become stamped on your DNA when any or all of the following have happened to you :
  1. You come back from a holiday and in amongst the dirty laundry, presents and souvenirs are various items that you happened on that ‘would be good for school’. Your brain has not even turned off in a foreign country!
  2. You have a row with your partner and you are told ‘Don’t use your teacher voice on me’.
  3. When others are chosen to staff a school trip, you describe it as a ‘jolly’. When you get asked to staff the same trip the next year, you describe it as variously ‘a vital part of their education’, ‘an opportunity to develop social skills’ or ‘a more meaningful way to learn- an immersive experience’.
  4. You KNOW with absolute certainty that all meetings are 90 per cent longer than they need to be.
  5. You stop shopping in any store that has ‘Back to school’ banners before you have even broken up for the summer break.
  6. You always refer to school breaks and never holidays, because teachers never truly have holidays.
  7. You type ‘www.tes’ into your search engine and autocomplete makes it into the TES website, and not Tesco.
  8. To you, ‘assembly instructions’ are all about keeping control of the noisy kids, and have nothing to do with IKEA.
  9. You remember it’s your bus duty day – it must be, it’s raining.
  10. You know what a three part lesson is- who knew that a lesson has to have a beginning, a middle and an end.
  11. You buy a pack of multicoloured pens and you don’t own a therapeutic colouring book.
  12. You see t shirts printed when you are abroad and you want to correct the spelling and grammar mistakes.
  13. The prospect of overnight snow and the disruption it causes is seen as a blessing not a curse.
  14. When you really want to swear about the vilest person you know, you describe them as having an OFSTED inspector mentality.
  15. You know this list would have offered a more diverse learning experience if it had been a mind map.